i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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