I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
