I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
