You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
