Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
