Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize