I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize