Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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