A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
