Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
