I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
