he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Princesses don't give blow jobs
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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