Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
