You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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