windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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