did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
