At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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