giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize