would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize