Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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