the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
