420 ftw
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize