Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
