I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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