Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
