im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
