this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
