This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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