i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
