A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
