i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
