im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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