She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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