Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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