Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So much Jack, so little girl.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize