You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
