If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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