fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
