How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
