My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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