she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
