I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
