I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
