Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
