It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
