I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
