I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
