All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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