he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
