batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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