help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
