they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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