you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
