I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
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