that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
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