I think im going to throw up on grandma
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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