Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
