I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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