Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
