Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
