I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Randomize
