No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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