just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
